Lost and confused .......

Today I accepted that I am TOTALLY lost and confused. and still feel that I am not a grown up. Since leaving BOFA I have felt that I am just drifting by on this highway called life and not really going anywhere. A few days ago I read a story on people.com about a soap opera star who committed suicide. He had put down his dog, due to management harassment where he lived, and killed himself that evening. As usually happen 99.99% of the comment that I read from readers where mean and derogatory. I saw a different side. I saw someone who was tired of trying, tired of trying to make it as an actor, tired of dealing with his dog issues, tired of life and the problems that always plague us. I understand him......I recently told a co-worker that most days I want to run away....go away........far, far away.....get a fresh start. I have wanted to go away to an asylum for rest and maybe not come back. I have even wanted to go away to a monks retreat high in the mountains where no one talks, they just chant all day. He looked at me pretty weird.